I won't deny that a large amount of my blogging thus far (all three entries!) have been fuelled by frustration or mild disaster. Too early starts, missed dental appointments, missing trousers, late for school days and forgotten coats on a rainy day. The best way to cope with lifes ups and particularly the downs is to laugh about them. Find the comedy! Use your crappy day to make someone else feel less crappy about their day. Having said all that, I'm actually here this morning with a completely different mindset... I'm actually in a good mood with zero (or a lot less) grumbling to do! Imagine such a thing...
It's Sunday morning. The sun has well and truly got his hat on which is jolly decent of him after frankly bonkers weather over the past week. It was either super sunny or raining like Noah needed to head to Wickes for ark building materials. My OH is in bed right now and our children are playing Super Mario 3D World on the WiiU. They got Nintendo Nerd genes from their father, along with Lego loving genes... They can thank me for their mega chatty genes!
I'm sat with the French doors open and out in the garden I can see my washing on the line. Ridiculously, simple shit like that makes me happy. I feel at peace right now and I can tell you that moments where I feel that way are few and far between.
Like many millions of others, I have problems with my mental health. I won't say "I have mental health issues" because my dad (God rest his wonderful, funny soul) had an almost irrational hatred for the word "issues" so I endeavour not to use it too often. One of the reasons I came back to this blog a few weeks ago was so I had a platform to talk about mental health because I'm passionate about it being talked about often and therefore normalised. I've suffered from depression of some sort since I was about 14 years old and have seen numerous counsellors over the years. I've also been on/ off medication to help me with it since I was 21. Right now, 50mg Sertraline a day is doing the trick.
I am prone to bouts of overwhelming and non-specific sadness and I struggle to switch off and relax. In short, I'm a fidgety little fecker most of the time.
Outwardly I may seem confident but a lot of the time, it's a front. I'm playing the part of Confident Kati and that can be exhausting at times.
Hence, when I feel content as I do right now, it needs documenting! I want to be able to refer back to this post when I'm feeling not so shiny and remind myself that I am capable of feeling okay.
So what cosmic events occurred to bring peace to Miss Misery McFidget-Pants? Well, by some miracle I finished all my Slimming World related admin/ support work by Friday evening. This is rare! I normally do as much as I can until I run out of steam and then resume at 6am on a Saturday morning when Squiddly and Diddly (my children) drag me from my bed. Not so this week! I was done and dusted and that meant that I didn't boot up my work laptop from Friday teatime until about half an hour ago when I needed it to write this. That was a good feeling, let me tell you!
Yesterday morning I headed off to Nottingham with a bunch of my lovely colleagues from school. I love my job as a SW consultant but you don't get a lot of 'staff excursions' because one of us is always running group or busy with admin. Since I joined the school as a lunchtime supervisor I've recaptured that feeling of having 'work mates' in the traditional sense and it's quite lovely. We had booked to do an escape room experience - my first - and although I was a little apprehensive, I really enjoyed it. We didn't actually crack it in time but thankfully they let us out anyway! Phew! After a lovely lunch (which I managed to Food Optimise, win!) we headed home.
My wonderful (would be) in laws had my children for the day as I had my day trip and Pete (my OH/ their son) was off enjoying an all-day PS4 COD Zombie marathon at his mates house. As interests and pastimes go, it's a fairly innocuous one I suppose. I'd rather be with a Lego-loving, occasional gamer than a man whose moods are dictated by a football team although no disrespect to footie loving men and women. It's just not our thing.
Finding myself home with no Pete and no children was odd but wonderful. I decided to go for a run (get me!) as my sister and I are taking part in the Great South Run in October. I'm sure this will be mentioned again as I ramp up my training and therefore whinge my arse off about the fact that I hate running. I waited for the rain to stop then trotted off to my little sister's house. Three and a bit miles and it was quicker than Thursday's run of the same distance so I was pleased with that.
A cuppa and a catch up with my (step) sister, Laura is always good for the soul. I'm so lucky that she lives so close, despite ending up in Kettering for a completely different reason to me. I only wish my big sister was closer too.
The children were delivered back to me all bathed and pyjama'd. I don't know where we'd be without Janet and David. My children couldn't ask for better grandparents. Once E and H were tucked up in bed, it was a Nashville catch up and then bed for me too.
Perhaps my many (arf arf) readers will find this post a little dull. I don't suppose a blog should be a 'What I did at the weekend' report like school used to ask you to write on a Monday morning but I just wanted to focus on all the little things that brought about a sense of wellbeing and calm to my often noisy and troubled mind.
Of course I have much to do to get ready for the week ahead. Uniforms to iron, group prep to do, figuring out when I can food shop etc but for now, I'm going to make another brew and just breathe and be.
I wish you all a wonderfully chilled out sunny Sunday!
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