Friday 12 May 2017

The Walk of Shame

walk of shame
phrase of walk
  1. 1.
    informal
    an instance of walking back home on the day after an unplanned casual sexual encounter, typically dressed in the same clothes as the previous evening.


This is the official definition of a walk of shame. When you are a 35 year old mother of two in a committed relationship, it has a completely different meaning. I define it as failing to get your children to school on time and therefore having to take them in through the office. And yes, you've guessed it! I did one this morning. The shame is compounded when the headteacher is waiting in the office to usher stragglers in AND (double whammy) you also work part time at said school. Oh Lord... 

I took a picture at about 8.15am yesterday. My daughter (Eva, 8) was curled up on the sofa, all ready for school and tapping away on her tablet. Her brother (Hal, 4) was sitting with their daddy (Pete, 34) playing on the iPad. My OH who does the school run on a Thursday, was stretched out chatting to Hal. They were not only ready on time but they were SO ready for school that they had time to RELAX before they needed to leave. WTAF?! I asked him what witchcraft this was, how could it be that he was reclining on the sofa on a school day? Why is it that my school run days (Monday, Wednesday and Friday) are an endless stream of me bellowing "Where are your shoes...? Did you bring your cardigan home? No, we  don't have any brioche? CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GET IN THE CAR?????" 

My day started at 5.15am when I woke for a wee and then couldn't get back to sleep, mainly because my brain (or what remains of it after two children) started going "Stuff to do. You've got so much to do. Do it. Do it now. So much work. Stuff. Stuff. Now. Get up!" etc. Stupid brain. So I got up and proceeded to procrastinate like an absolute bastard. 

"Katherine Emily Reeve, putting the pro in procrastination since 1981" 

Take now for example, I have 31 food diaries awaiting my attention. The dishwasher needs emptying. And reloading. I need to leave for my school job at 11.30 and before then I'll need to eat. So what am I doing? Updating my blog, obvs. Insert eye roll emoji here. 

One more thing before I go coz I made myself laugh and it might make you laugh too... Driving home from dropping E and H off this morning, another driver flashed her lights at me. Or at least I presume it was at me. I did a quick check of what she could be alerting me to... I was driving on the right side of the road, I had my lights on (it's a filthy grey day today)... The next thing I thought "Are my doors closed?" 

"ARE MY DOORS CLOSED?" Really Kati, really?! 

Jesus wept, I know I'm tired but did I really think I could have driven almost all the way home with my car doors open and not notice??

I am happy to confirm my doors were closed so I have no idea why I got flashed at. Anyway, that's enough work avoidance for now. Here's to getting all of my work done and being tucked up in bed by 9pm tonight! #lifegoals 

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